Local Man To Be Subject Of Television Movie

The Sam the Eagle Political Review has learned that a local private investigator will be the subject of a made for television movie due to be aired next Spring. Wasted Lies: The Philip Klein Story is set to begin filming right here in Jefferson County, Texas in the next few weeks said a source that didn't call the Review over the weekend.

The docudrama will tell the story of local legend in his own mind, Philip r. Klein Editor, editor of The Southeast Texas Political Review.

"I'm excited about this project." Said John, "The Tank" Danforth, director of the film. "There is great deal of material to work with here. I mean forty plus lawsuits, three divorces, two bankruptcies, dead beat dad convictions. This is going to be alot of fun."

Sources close to no one didn't tell the Review that the film will document the life of Philip Klein from his promising inception into the Republican party to the backstabbing of the man that took him under his wing and set him up in business. The story will also include the adulterous relationships, ruined businesses, and the failed attempt to take his own life through the ingestion of seventy five pounds of buffet style potatoes.

TMZ reported on it's website last week that producers have tapped noted child star, Eric Cartman to portray Klein in the film.

"Eric is just right for the role of Philip Klein." Said an anonymous producer that the Review talked to post announcement. "His work on South Park as a neurotic, immature, and emotionally disturbed fourth grader, along with his physical build makes him a perfect match for the protagonist in this film. Plus, he's had a fair amount of experience pretending to be a policeman.

"I'm excited." Said Mr. Cartman from his mother's home in South Park. "This will be a wonderful opportunity for me to show the
world that I can be not just a chickenshit little kid but a chickenshit adult as well. I must admit though that I am a bit nervous about the love scenes in the back of the ambulance."

Fans interested in the project can read more here:

Philip Klein's paid for IMDB page.

Eric Cartman's IMDB page

Sam the Eagle's IMDB page.

Serial Killer Charles Manson's IMDB page.

Child Molester Jeffrey Dahmer's IMDB page.

And YOU TOO can have an IMDB page HERE.