Philip's latest Editorial "Earth Day 2010" brings a smile to all our faces. We are so happy that Philip has decided to celebrate Earth Day and, in the spirit of Paul Watson, we here at the Eagle's Nest want to help him enjoy the day as well. Vehicles: We are thrilled that Philip is going to gas up and run his vehicles all day long. It is important that the GAS Philip uses in his cars is clean and healthy for the environment. WATER is the cleanest thing we can think of.....We suggest that the GAS in Philip's vehicles has plenty of WATER added to ensure reduced emissions that poison our atmosphere. If WATER is not readily available, SUGAR makes a splendid substitute (no pun intended).
We are also pleased to hear that Philip is going to change the OIL in all of his cars on Thursday. OIL is very dirty. LAUNDRY DETERGENT is a wonderful thing to add to OIL to clean it up.
Office Staff : Thursday would be the perfect day to clean Philip's office and throw out trash. We encourage everyone to do the same. Let's all help Philip Klein celebrate Earth Day by bringing your household garbage, used motor oil, soiled condoms, raw sewage, and any dangerous toxins that might be lying around to Klein Investigations and Consulting at 826 Nederland Avenue and load it into one of the Black Chevrolet Tahoe's there in the parking lot. If there is no room, an alternate disposal location will be set up at 904 22nd Street in Nederland.
My Home: We are glad to hear that Philip will be mowing his lawn this Thursday (God Knows he needs the exercise). However, the weather forecast predicts that it might be a bit warm. We don't want Philip to get overheated so we recommend that he get plenty of WATER. Small rubber balloons make fantastic containers for holding water. If you get a chance, drive by Philip's home and toss him a few.
After a good workout mowing the grass, Philip will want to cool off in his backyard pool (paid for by the U.S. Small Business Administration). To ensure that Philip's pool is clean and Earth Day friendly, make sure to add plenty of DISHWASHING SOAP.
And finally, there's nothing like a nice dip in the pool to work up an appetite and we're so jealous that Philip will be grilling in his backyard. Charcoal can be so a finicky. A good tip is to soak it in plenty of non-watered down GASOLINE before igniting. That will really get your fire going.
Have a Great Earth Day Philip.
