"It's really bad." Said a caller to the Review over the weekend.
......................................HELSINKI INSTITUTE FOR ADVANCED THINKING ABOUT STUFF THAT IS IMPORTANTA report, issued from the Helsinki Institute for Advanced Thinking About Stuff That Is Important (HIFATASTII) last Friday shows that corrupt Jefferson County officials are not only responsible for unemployment and high taxes, but also for almost all of the other scourges on today's society.
Utilizing data prepared by noted political consultant, Philip Klein (who we still don't like), Dr. Helmut Krinmunkey, chief scientist in the Political Services Division, has issued a scathing attack on Jefferson County Politicos, accusing them of a long list of atrocities.
"Zee politicos zof Zefferson County zare corrupt." Said the renowned scientist in a phone interview with the Review.
According to Dr. Krinmunkey, local politicians and government officials are responsible for, testicular cancer, shingles, warts, sun spots, age spots, Spot the dog, dog shit on the bottom of your shoe, the fall of the Roman Empire, the assassination of Archduke Frances Ferdinand, bubonic plague, polio, the Breakup of New Kids on the Block, the New Coke fiasco of 1985, and the failure of Richard Heene to obtain a reality TV show contract.
"Zee Mr. Klein, he haz zee important evidenze showing zee corruption." Add Dr. Krinmunkey.
According to deceased sources inside the institute, Philip Klein, political consultant, editor of The Southeast Texas Political Review, and head of The Team to Call When You Really Really Really Need to Know has been working with Dr. Krinmunkey for some time, trying to tie local corruption to a long list of social savagery.
Our take?
Who cares........
Utilizing data prepared by noted political consultant, Philip Klein (who we still don't like), Dr. Helmut Krinmunkey, chief scientist in the Political Services Division, has issued a scathing attack on Jefferson County Politicos, accusing them of a long list of atrocities.
"Zee politicos zof Zefferson County zare corrupt." Said the renowned scientist in a phone interview with the Review.
According to Dr. Krinmunkey, local politicians and government officials are responsible for, testicular cancer, shingles, warts, sun spots, age spots, Spot the dog, dog shit on the bottom of your shoe, the fall of the Roman Empire, the assassination of Archduke Frances Ferdinand, bubonic plague, polio, the Breakup of New Kids on the Block, the New Coke fiasco of 1985, and the failure of Richard Heene to obtain a reality TV show contract.
"Zee Mr. Klein, he haz zee important evidenze showing zee corruption." Add Dr. Krinmunkey.
According to deceased sources inside the institute, Philip Klein, political consultant, editor of The Southeast Texas Political Review, and head of The Team to Call When You Really Really Really Need to Know has been working with Dr. Krinmunkey for some time, trying to tie local corruption to a long list of social savagery.
Our take?
Who cares........
