"Thet is jest curruption." Said Klein in an interview with the Review. "Whet if I wented to hev sax with thuse gotes? End he ded it on cunty teme."
The employee strongly denied the allegations and produced medical records documenting extensive damage to his genitalia resulting from a tragic KP duty accident while serving a second tour of duty in Iraq.
"He couldn't have messed with those goats even if he wanted to." Said a caller to the Review.
Angered that Klein would not post a retraction, the embittered employee crept to the editor's castle, avoided his flying monkey guards, and tossed a bucket of water on Philip's head.

Witnesses to the incident told investigators that steam began rising from Philip's body and that he quickly melted into the stone floor.
"It was gross. He smelled like sour milk." Said a person who saw a U-Tube video of the incident.
Calls to the central office of the SET Political Review went unanswered.