In a breaking story, the SET Poltical Review has learned that the Jefferson County Chapter of the Coalition of Mosquitoes of America (JCCOTCOMOA) has denounced Philip Klein for publishing libelous remarks."We're going to sue the pants off that $^&%^^#%$" said an anonymous source that called the Review over the weekend.
Klein, who's article (and I use that term loosely) last week accused the local mosquito population of "not breeding hard enough" has inflamed local mosquitoes, gnats, biting flies, and for some reason,
fans of the late Sonny Bono.
"I'll show him hard breeding." Said a mosquito who called the Review late last night. "I'm going to fly over to that %$^&^#$ house right now and bite him right on the #$%$#$%@#"
A spokesperson for the Coalition called Klein's article absurd. "We pride ourselves on our ability to reproduce and do so in vast numbers." said Abner Culic, who phoned us from a water filled beer can in Philip's backyard. "We'll just have to visit with Philip some and let him know that."
In a related story, a Nederland mosquito was pulled over and charged with Flying While Intoxicated after biting Philip Klein on the arm Friday night. All area mosquitoes are advised to remember to have a designated flier when 'philing' up at the Klein home.
