Noted astronomer Carl Sagan, though dead, reported today that an alien race has made direct contact with anonymous government officials who shall remain nameless and informed them that they will destroy all life on planet Earth within the next thirty days. The Lucerians, as they call themselves, contacted the famed astrophysicist through radio signals beamed to a local AM radio station, KOLE, earlier this week and indicated that the races of Earth were not fit to survive in the universe. "We're perplexed by the whole matter." Commented the deceased scientist. "The only thing we know is that they intercepted some radio signals and have determined that mankind is not fit to live." He added. Top level government officials, who called 'us' this weekend have speculated that the aliens intercepted radio transmissions from the AM station inadvertently beamed into space over a year ago. "The Southeast Texas Political Review" talk show, hosted by the renowned idiotors, The Philip Kleins, ran for approximately eighteen months but was cancelled after the station was sued for libelous comments by its hosts, said Ralph E., station manager. "We had NO IDEA aliens would hear their crap." he added. "Everything we had told us only 34 people ever heard their show...if we'd only known!!!!!" Attempts to negotiate with the alien race have been unsuccessful said Mr. Sagan. "All they will say is...'we have judged your race and you are unfit to live'" Some News for the Day Sam the EagleTHIS JUST IN.....Aliens to Destroy Earth!!!!!
Noted astronomer Carl Sagan, though dead, reported today that an alien race has made direct contact with anonymous government officials who shall remain nameless and informed them that they will destroy all life on planet Earth within the next thirty days. The Lucerians, as they call themselves, contacted the famed astrophysicist through radio signals beamed to a local AM radio station, KOLE, earlier this week and indicated that the races of Earth were not fit to survive in the universe. "We're perplexed by the whole matter." Commented the deceased scientist. "The only thing we know is that they intercepted some radio signals and have determined that mankind is not fit to live." He added. Top level government officials, who called 'us' this weekend have speculated that the aliens intercepted radio transmissions from the AM station inadvertently beamed into space over a year ago. "The Southeast Texas Political Review" talk show, hosted by the renowned idiotors, The Philip Kleins, ran for approximately eighteen months but was cancelled after the station was sued for libelous comments by its hosts, said Ralph E., station manager. "We had NO IDEA aliens would hear their crap." he added. "Everything we had told us only 34 people ever heard their show...if we'd only known!!!!!" Attempts to negotiate with the alien race have been unsuccessful said Mr. Sagan. "All they will say is...'we have judged your race and you are unfit to live'" Some News for the Day Sam the Eagle
