Prediction Issue is Up

The following are predictions made by the editor of the Sam the Eagle Political Review. They are not endorsements of any candidates. Any suggestion of which is simply silly and stupid and dumb and did I say silly. As we always say in any political race – we wish nothing but good luck to each candidate, except the ones we talk bad about and don't like.



US House Of Representatives – District 2

This is an easy one. A blind moron could pick it. Ted Poe will receive 32748 votes and take 87.58% of the total.

Governor – The State of Texas

Rick Perry has much more hair than Bill White. We here at the Review see 55/42.

Local Races

Our dear friend and political prognosticator, Philip r. Klein, editor wrote:

No Red Wave

Okay - the early numbers are in. And there is good news and there is bad news. The good news is that there is a very strong GOP turn out in the areas that the GOP seemingly has control. The bad news - the Democrats came out in the last few days of early voting. And they have the advantage in the early vote.

We here at the Review disagree. We see the local races as follows:

Jefferson County Tax Assessor – Collector

This guy will collect the taxes. He will take the taxes and give them to the people that use the taxes and so he is like a tax man. We see Shane Howard winning this race with 29677 votes.

Jefferson County Treasurer

This is the guy who will keep the treasure and treasure is important, especially to pirates, medieval knights, and Indiana Jones. Tim Funchess will win this race. We see him receiving 29669 votes.

JP Pct 1 Place 2

There are some nice ladies running for this job. Philip Klein has been really mean to Mrs. Beaulieu. That brings in the Klein factor which adds a good 20 points. Mrs. Beaulieu will win big.

JP Number 7 – Mid County

There are some Democrats and some Republicans in Nederland. All of them don't like Philip Klein so they will vote for the guy that Philip doesn't like. Judge Burnett will win by ten points.


Thank you all for reading the Review and tomorrow we will give a post post post mortem. In the mean time, look for our leader, Sam t. Eagle, editor, on the Home Shopping Channel at the 11:34 hour commenting on a new brand of hemorrhoid cream. We will also be monitoring the monitors of the snarky comments HERE.

Sam t. Eagle
Editor