Lifetime Movie to be Filmed in Nederland

Lifetime Movie Network announced today that it would be filming a made for television movie in Nederland, Texas this summer. Ambulance Infidelity tells the story of Philo Kliar, a bankrupt private detective and part time volunteer fireman, who dreams of being a television news reporter. But Philo carries a dark secret. One that threatens to destroy all those around him. Philo is secretly a narcissist with a fetish for having sex in the back of emergency vehicles.

"I'm excited about this project." Said Seymour Bush, director of the film. " We watch Philo's character, who starts as a prominent businessman, but with failure after failure, gradually degenerates into a lying, despicable man who will say or do anything for attention. The final scene is truly captivating. Philo's third wife is barricaded in her bedroom, terrified of her husband's rage, and must be rescued by local police."

Sources close to the network tell the Review that noted character actor and Sopranos star, James Gandolfini, has been tapped to play Philo Kliar. He's excited about the role." said an anonymous caller that didn't call the Review. "He's gone on a strict high fat- high carb diet so he can really look the part."

The various female leads have not been selected yet and anonymous sources who don't really exist tell the Review that Lifetime is having a hard time finding A-list actresses slutty enough to have intercourse in the back of an ambulance. "We may have to start hitting the porn studios." Mr. Bush told us.

Ambulance Infidelity is set to air this Fall.