A Nederland man has brought home America's first Gold Medal from the Vancouver Olympics. Philip r. Klein, editor (who we don't like), a private investigator and editor of The Southeast Texas Political Review soundly defeated the competition this past weekend and brought home a gold medal for the newly recognized Olympic sport of 'Lying'."This is something we take for granted." Said an anonymous spokesperson for the Olympic Events Committee who didn't talk to the Review. "Rarely do we find such talented individuals that can take lying to the next step and make it competitive."
Klein took the field strong and quickly distanced himself from the pack, easily convincing judges that the Earth was in fact flat, he worked for a secret para-military organization, that he really didn't use his SBA loan to build a pool in his back yard, and that all the preschoolers at Parkway Daycare were corrupt and responsible for global warming and the current economic recession.
"I've never seen anything like it." Said judge Ellen Degeneres, who took time out from American Idol to rate the contestants. "That man has no concept of the truth."
"We're proud of Philip." Said no one that we talked to over the weekend. "And we think this is just the start of his medal run." referring to Klein's upcoming events including Drinking Until Passing Out, Typing While Intoxicated, and Maligning Public Officials.
Other medal winners included North Korean Strongman Kim Jon Il who took home the Silver and Eric Cartman of Southpark, Colorado, who won the Bronze.
