Family members of noted Hollywood actor David Carradine are concerned with the manner in which Thai authorities are handling the investigation into his untimely death and are taking matters into their own hands (no pun intended.) Carradine, star of the 70's hit series 'Kung Fu' was found dead in a Bangkok hotel reportedly with ropes tied around his neck and genitalia."We want some real answers." Said Keith Carradine, David's brother. Family members have turned to Klein Investigations and Political Consultants, The team to call when you really need to know, for help.
Carradine reportedly died while engaged in 'autoerotic asphyxiation', a sexual act whereby one engages in fondling ones own genitals while depriving the brain of life giving oxygen. "We need someone that doesn't use their brain and Philip Klein seems to be our man." Said an unidentified source close to the happening. "It also helps that he is a jerk." (pun intended)
A source that called the Review said family members met with Klein over the weekend and were impressed with his stick (pun intended) to it mentality.
Klein, renowned for his thoroughness, wasted no time. Despite confirmed reports that Carradine is in fact, dead, Klein thinks the actor staged his own death and is alive, perhaps living in Brazil with Adolf Hitler, Amelia Earhart, Patrick McDermott, Dolf Lundgren, and some guy that followed the Greatful Dead around for twenty seven years.
"David's aleve." Klein announced at a press conference on Saturday. "End wee well fend ham. Wee heve a wibsit celled FENDDAVED CERRIDENE.COM end wee r truckin tha hets. Deved willl vasit et end wee well trick hem."
You bet we will watch this one.
