In a breaking story, The STE Political Review has learned that the National Center for Disease Control has just issued a Level Five health alert for a new strain of flu that has been detected right here in the United States.
"This one makes the H1N1 swine flu look like a hangnail." Said Dr. Richard Besser, head of the CDC in Atlanta. "The symptoms are that bad."
Dubbed by journalists as the "Klein flu" after the first contagion, the virus attacks the central nervous system causing the afflicted individual to experience delusions of grandeur, extreme paranoia, engage in conversations with nameless people that don't exist, and pontificate ad nauseum on subjects that the victim knows absolutely nothing about.
To date, only one individual seems to have been infected. "We think we have it contained to a small town in Southeast Texas but we're not taking any chances." Added Dr. Besser.
You bet we'll watch this one.
