34) XXXXX, XX, XXXX Shots Fired Owner shot
'We' looked into the incident and discovered that Philip R. Klein, editor, was shot in his front yard by..........yes.........................
a BB gun..........The assailant was never caught and no charges were ever filed.
'We' here at the Eagle's Nest think that this incident should not go unresolved. So, Today - the Sam the Eagle Political Review - puts on the table the following offer of $27.86 in McDonald's gift certificates for the person that will come forward and confess that he or she shot Philip R. Klein editor with the BB gun. There are conditions to this offer and they are as follows :
1) The person may not be Philip R. Klein claiming the wound was self inflicted (what would your therapist think of that one?).
2) The person must offer and give the Review definitive proof and that proof must show that they indeed did shoot Philip R. Klein editor with a BB gun.
3) The reward is NOT for the identity of the person who shot Philip R. Klein, editor ('we' have determined that there are so many out there who would have cause to shoot Philip R. Klein editor with a BB gun that the information would be overwhelming).
I will NOT under any circumstances give anyone your name. I will not refer to you in any capacity or way.
DISCLAIMER: The Sam the Eagle Political Review is not supporting the shooting of Philip R. Klein editor with a BB gun. We are horrified by this dastardly act and simply want the shooter to confess and then 'we' will encourage them to turn themselves in to the authorities.
We do hereby reserve the right to laugh hysterically, hoorah, harrumph, and profess other similar exclamations over the incident.
So let it begin - Let's have some fun and let's see who wins some burgers and fries from the Review.
