Disclaimer: Retards Write is a registered trademark, patent, 'copywrite' of Sam the Eagle Enterprises INC, ABC, NBA and the Eatafly Foundation. Any and all implications or inferences that The Philip Kleins, their various entities, companies, or personalities that inhabit their psyche write letters to themselves are purely coincidental. FROM Twenty Eighth Street, Nederland;
Sam, Does Philip realize how stupid he looks offering a reward for the identity of a muppet?
ROFLMAO
ANSWER: Recent geological mapping of Philip's head reveals it to be quite dense....so, I don't think so.
FROM Agent 451;
Sam, are you OK? Does Philip really know who you are?
ANSWER: I am fine and Philip says he knows who I am......and Philip never lies.......right?
FROM: Comal County;
Sam, are you afraid Philip might hurt you?
Concerned
ANSWER: Only if there is a fire. Gas bags tend to erupt near open flames.
