Retards Write

Disclaimer: Retards Write is a registered trademark, patent, 'copywrite' of Sam the Eagle Enterprises INC, ABC, NBA and the Eatafly Foundation. Any and all implications or inferences that The Philip Kleins, their various entities, companies, or personalities that inhabit their psyche write letters to themselves are purely coincidental.
FROM EVACUEE:
Dear Sam, thenk u so much for vizitin weth miself and mi muther and aur neehburs and their extinded femilies and thenk u so much fo seving ouur lives and geving us muney and gevin mi granmother a kedney. You reelly are nice and sweet and cute and succcezzfull and you really are an egle.
An evacuee
ANSWER:
Yes, yes I am.
FROM SEATTLE:
Sam, I read your site and want to know if you would like to take over my company.
Bill Gates
ANSWER:
Sorry Bill, I can't afford the pay cut.
FROM NEDERLAND:
If you - or any other reader has information on this - let me know. Email or call or send any information to P.O. Box 1212, Nederland, Texas 77627. Your name will not be used or send it "off the record."
ANSWER:
Of course your name will not be used.....since you don't really exist......
Sam the Eagle