LORD TO RECONSIDER ENDING ALL LIFE ON EARTH!
The Sam the Eagle Political Review has learned that the Lord as reconsidered his decision to destroy the earth.
"The Lord is very concerned with what he has read and has opened an investigation to investigate those that need to be investigated." Said an anonymous spokesangel that the Review contacted late last night.
Thousands of faithful followers were highly distraught over the weekend when evangelical pastor, Harold Camping's rapture predictions regarding the end of the world on May 21, 2011 failed to come to pass.
"Actually, God did not know he was supposed to destroy the world last Saturday." said a source close to God that refused to give their name. "He wasn't really planning anything until he read that site."
Anonymous sources tell the Review that the Lord was surfing the internet when he ran across Philip Klein's Southeast Texas Political Review. "He was very concerned at the allegations Mr. Philip R. Klein, editor, was making." Said, Saint Peter, Guardian of the Gates of Heaven. "If what Mr. Philip R. Klein, editor, says is true, you guys are toast."
At least seventeen anonymous sources who didn't call the Review said that God is going to investigate Philip Klein's claims and if true, destroy the earth on August 30, 2011.
"I don't think he'll use a flood or locust plague this time." Death, one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse, told the Review. "We've been experimenting with some particularly nauseating Justin Bieber songs. I think he'll make everyone just listen to a few of them until they go mad."
Our take?
WOW! Simply WOW!. God, Rapture, and Philip Klein equals summer fun.
