Over the past two years, we have been involved in litigation with Philip r. Klein, editor, styled PHILIP R. KLEIN, EDITOR and HIS PERSONALITIES vs. WHOEVER HE IS SUING THIS WEEK. Because of said litigation, we here at the Review have been unable to respond to certain offensive allegations made by Philip r. Klein, editor, and Klein attorneys. Thanks to our great victory last week in the Texas Supreme Court that made case law and will go into the law books showing that Philip r. Klein, editor, is a complete idiot, we can now address a serious accusation against us here at the Review.For several years now, Philip r. Klein, editor, and Klein attorneys have accused us here at the Review of alleging that Philip r. Klein, editor, had sexual relations with farm animals. We here at the Review want to go on the record now as saying that said accusation is an absolute lie and we are highly offended that Philip r. Klein, editor, and Klein attorneys would accused us here at the Review of making said allegations. At no time did anyone here at the Review allege that Philip r. Klein editor, had sexual relations with farm animals. To the contrary, we firmly maintain that Philip's sexual predilections extend far beyond domesticated animals and include, but are not limited to, feral hogs, gophers, snakes, manatees and other endangered marine mammals, large insects, and singer Marilyn Manson.
Philip, I will be waiting by the phone for the call of apology.
