Sometimes here at the Review we have to laugh. We laugh and then we giggle and then we fall on the floor because the room is spinning and then we get that sick bile taste in our mouth and then we throw up in the garbage can next to the desk and then find the other bottle that is stashed in the lower file drawer and pour another drink.
The Sam the Eagle Political Review has learned that the Beaumont Independent School District has engaged Philip Klein to assist in improving their image in the local media.
"I don't know shit! Leave me alone!" Said our anonymous source at BISD that called us over the weekend.
The Beaumont Independent School District has been racked with scandal over the past few months and sources inside the administration told us that there was only one thing they could do.......call a Klein.
"We needed someone who could lie their ass off and Philip Klein is the perfect guy." Said BISD propaganda minister Jessie Haynes.
Philip Klein (who we don't like) will post pro BISD messages on the internet on various blogs and forums using the pseudonyms Drunk Weatherman, Wanda, Media Watcher, and Bankrupt Guy. Sources close to Klein tell the Review that many of the posts will also include comments about the genitalia of various attractive teachers in the District.
"Klein has a great deal of experience posting anonymous lewd comments about women on the internet. He's perfect for the job." Said a source that didn't call the Review over the weekend.
Post the posting of the posted posts, Philip Klein will also assist District employees in the instruction of courses including:
1) Utilizing Federal SBA loans for backyard pool construction.
2) Bankrupting family businesses
3) DIVORCE 101: Yes even fat ugly guys can cheat.
4) Creative Writing and the Internet
and a specialty tutorial entitled How to Enhance Your Self Image Through Personal Admiration.
Our Take?
WOW! Simply WOW! You bet we will watch this one.
