The STE Political Review has learned that the SET Political Review is reporting to the STE Political Review that the SET Political Review (I thought you were going to stop doing this!) will be forced to make major cutbacks due to the depressed economy."Leave me the ^*&%^ alone. I told you to quit calling me!" Said our source at the Review who called the Review this morning.
A huge shortfall in readership along with mounting legal fees has forced Philip r. Klein, editor, to slash his budget, cutting many important features.
Despite claims of record numbers of website visits (for the truth, check out WEBSITE OUTLOOK) and self-penned 'reader mail', the Review posted a loss for the 72nd straight quarter last week.
"I don't think the STE Political Review ever made a dime." said someone we didn't talk to late last night when we were passed out.
Sources close to the Review told the Review that Philip Klein is having to take drastic actions to keep the Review afloat.
"He used to buy a couple gallons of Jack Daniels a week. Now he's buying Old Barton." Said a local liquor store owner that demanded anonymity.
Other cuts include using only two non-existent sources for Philip's stories instead of the usual four or five, claiming only certain sections of local government are corrupt, dropping the use of the word 'editor' after Philip Klein's name, and shorthand abbreviations of the few words spelled correctly in Review articles.
"I heard he's even going to cutback on brain activity." Said noted brain surgeon Dr. Wilder Penfield. "Though I think he will have a difficult time with that. The average human expends approximately twenty percent of their body's energy on brain activity. I estimate that Mr. Klein's brain energy expenditures are far less than one percent...if that."
Our take?
WOW! Simply WOW! This economy is really effecting everyone.
