Sometimes around here we have to laugh. We really do. We laugh and then we giggle and then we laugh, and then we take a drink of that brown stuff in the bottle next to our foot and then we laugh and giggle some more.This past weekend, we were sitting around just staring at ourselves in the mirror when the phone rang. "You're not going to believe who this is." Said one of our staffers that was holding the mirror. "Its (name withheld). You know, they work for Klein."
"WOW." We said. "Simply WOW." So we picked up the phone and said "Hello." "Hi Mr. Eagle, editor." came the voice on the other end. "This is (name withheld) and I have just got to tell you what's going on over here at The Southeast Texas Political Review."
Now we here at the Review try not to pick on other people because there are certain rules in the blogging world like you don't pick on people, you're really not supposed to post after more than six drinks, no porn during work hours, things like that. But when Misses (name withheld) told us what was happening with Philip Klein, well, sometimes you just have to break the rules.
"Mr. Klein works late hours." Said our source. "Well, he's not really working, he's writing on his blog. I was here one night picking up a bag of weed I left and he was at his desk just hammering away with one hand on the keyboard and the other wrapped tightly around an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. He looked at me, smiled, and then vomited into the garbage can next to his desk. Without missing a beat, he went back to the computer muttering something about 'corruption'."
"Tell us more." We said.
"You know all those emails he claims he receives. You know, the ones where he puts the name of the city where they were supposed to come from. Well, he just makes that up. He picks the cities at random. He doesn't get many emails and the only people that call him are those guys wondering why he has missed a payment. I thought they weren't supposed to call you at work. Anyways, he spends most of the day searching the names 'Gus Pillsbury' and 'Sam the Eagle' on GOOGLE and watching the FOX show WANDAS on television. He has a DVD of all of the shows and he just sits there watching it over and over and over muttering something under his breath. I tell you Mr. Eagle, editor, he's not in his right mind. "
Our take?
WOW, simply WOW. We have said it before and we were right when we said it because we said it and when we say something we are right. The Southeast Texas Political Review is dying. High debt, high alcohol blood level, and high blood pressure will do it every time.
And time is running out.
