Local Man To Serve As National Spokesman

The Brown-Forman Corporation, operator of the Jack Daniel's distillery in Lynchburg, Tennessee, announced today that it had reached an agreement with local blogger Philip r. Klein, editor, to serve as national spokesman for its popular whiskey.

"We're excited about this ad campaign." Said our source inside the company that we didn't talk to over the weekend. "Philip is the perfect man for the job."

Klein, editor of The Southeast Texas Political Review (and who we don't like) has endorsed Jack Daniels whiskey on numerous occasions and indicated that he was excited about the prospect of preaching the importance of inebriation in daily life.

"I luv a gud Jack end witer post a gud dey." Said the editor shortly before composing his latest blog piece. "It halps ma thunk bitter."

"We have read most of Philip's work and feel it is heavily influenced by Jack Daniels." Said an anonymous company spokesperson. "Hell, we looked all over the world and can't find anyone more influenced by our product than Philip Klein."

Sources close to the company would not reveal the exact terms of the agreement with Klein, but hinted that no money would actually change hands and that Klein would in fact be paid in barrels of whiskey shipped directly from the warehouse.

"It was his idea." Said a source that demanded anonymity. "He also asked that we include a long tube with a nipple on one end."

The campaign is said to kick off this Spring and rumors are flying that American Idol rap sensation General Larry Platt has been commissioned to write the background song entitled Face on the Ground.