Philip Klein Incites Anit-Government Movement

DISCLAIMER: Philip Klein Incites Anti-Government Movement is a patent, trademark, 'copyrite' of STE Enterprises and the Eatafly Foundation. Any implications or inferences that people actually believe any of the crap that spews from his mouth is purely unfounded.
Disgruntled with corruption, angry citizens gathered today to overthrow the government of Jefferson County, Texas. The movement, begun by local private investigator Phlip R. Kleinorsky, calls for the public hangings of all elected officials, repatriation of a pack of abused greyhounds seized by animal control officials, and the installation of a 'committee' to rule the masses.
"We r ridy fur chenge." Said Mr. Kleinorsky. "Ta piple went ekualitie."
Armed with pitchforks, shovels, and copies of the Christmas edition of The Examiner, the proletariat of Jefferson County descended on the courthouse this weekend ready to capture and assassinate the infamous "Gang of Seven."
"We don't know who they are, but we know there are seven.....or maybe six....I'm not really sure." Said an anonymous member of the mob who spoke to the Review brandishing a beer bottle full of whale oil and a torch.
Courthouse security was not alerted since it was a Sunday and no one was there. Undaunted by this, the rabble turned it's attentions to The Southeast Texas State Fair and demanded that the price of funnel cakes be lowered by at least a dollar.