WANTED: Sam "the eagle" Eagle.Height: approximately 3 feet (with a 6 foot wingspan)
Blue feathers with black eyes and black bushy eyebrows
Last seen, defecating somewhere in the 900 block of 22nd street in Nederland, Texas
Sam the Eagle is wanted for high crimes and chafes against Philip R. Klein, editor. Since April 1, 2005, he has consistently taunted and tormented Philip R. Klein, editor, with verbal barbs, revealing photographs, and cute ripostes to the inane spewings on The Southeast Texas Political Review.
Sam the Eagle is armed with a wit that is highly irritating to idiots, morons, bankrupt businessmen, philanderers, incompetent private detectives, and failed political consultants.
Philip R. Klein, editor, in association with his Foundation, The Gadfly Trust (which can't be found registered ANYWHERE), along with money provided by the United States Small Business Administration, is offering a reward for the capture of this annoying villian. If you have any information regarding the whereabouts of Sam the Eagle, please call the number scrawled on the side of this website and ask for 'Amber'.
