Disclaimer: Retards Write is a registered trademark, patent, 'copywrite' of Sam the Eagle Enterprises INC, ABC, NBA and the Eatafly Foundation. Any and all implications or inferences that The Philip Kleins, their various entities, companies, or personalities that inhabit their psyche write letters to themselves are purely coincidental. From Sanderson's
Sam, is The Southeast Texas Political Review really gone?
Concerned in Nederland
Answer:
Thanks for reading Concerned. The general consensus around here at the Eagle's Nest is that Philip has suffered some sort of carbohydrate shock from engorging himself on free food during the hurricane and may be experiencing further mental breakdown of his already disengaged psyche. Dr. Van Pelt is very concerned about the following behavior:
1) Philip is seen on 'Operation Kleinwatch' saving a dog while dressed in full fireman's firefighting clothing.
An anonymous source told us that Philip did indeed save, Scraps the dog, though the incident was not hurricane related. Apparently, Scraps got his head caught in a fence while trying to retrieve a ball errantly thrown in a neighbor's yard. Philip has been seen on numerous occasions over the past week or so, pedaling around Nederland in a little red fire truck dressed as a fireman asking people if they need help. (As opposed to dressing as an FBI agent and asking people if they need help.)
2) While Philip is able to post "TESTING" and "WE ARE WORKING ON OUR SITE" on several occassions since Hurricane Ike, He is unable to post any real content (which actually is not unusual).
I strongly suspect that the pounds of fried lard that Philip ingested scarfing meals designated for the civil servants that responded during the hurricane have caused a build up in his arteries that is impeding whats left of the flow of oxygen to the soppy organ he uses as a brain. When Sanderson's quits giving out free food, I think he will return to his normal lovable self.
Expect to see an article soon about how brave and strong the fireman and policemen were that worked during Hurricane Ike. He will of course include some personal tale or two of self aggrandizement but will immediately play it down in comparison to all the others who worked so hard. He will question the decisions of Jefferson County leaders though no deaths directly related to the Hurricane have been reported there. He will not talk about Orange County, Galveston County, or Harris County, because, frankly, Philip does not have a personal agenda against the leaders of those counties.
In short, Philip is like a nasty wart that keeps growing back and he will return with more fodder for parody.
Sam the Eagle
