Retards Write

Disclaimer: Retards Write is a registered trademark, patent, 'copywrite' of Sam the Eagle Enterprises INC, ABC, NBA and the Eatafly Foundation. Any and all implications or inferences that The Philip Kleins, their various entities, companies, or personalities that inhabit their psyche write letters to themselves are purely coincidental.

Some good ones this week:

FROM THE INTERNATIONAL BROTHERHOOD OF WELDING APPRENTICES INC, LLC, DBA, NFL: Are you the guy that is too much of a pussy to write your name and talks about my dad all the time? Mr. Lightfoot? I will take my welding torch and burn your $%#$@@#!

ANSWER: Boy the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Now I know why rodents eat their young.

FROM BEAUMONT: "My huzbend and I red the Gus Pillsbury leddr end wer sik ovar a pursin thet canot sin ther tru nime end calin me, uh I mene the mr. Kliens tha thingz he calad me uh I mene tham. Bi nit signin ur nime r u nit a lier 2.....?"

ANSWER: Sure, why not. Everybody else is doing it, why not me too. (Silly Philips....)

FROM CROCKETT STREET: Sam, I need talk to you ASAP.

Christina Delgadillo

ANSWER: Sure, call me anytime at 723-1531 or on my cell at 543-2184