Anonymous sources who will remain anonymous because they don’t really exist have confirmed today that Sam the Eagle Enterprises, Inc.L.L.C. COD, a subsidiary of STE Investments Corp ABC, in partnership with Sam Eagle UFO which is actually a front for the illegal solicitation activities of THE EATAFLY CORPORATION, a non-profit corporation collecting money under the auspices of giving it to idiot children when in fact we keep it ourselves (notice the use of the plural there), has been selected out of a pool of TWO to act as bodyguard for Presidential candidate John McCain during his campaign swing through the demilitarized zone that is 22nd Street in Nederland, Texas.
"We (notice the use of the plural---AGAIN) are pleased to have such an honor" said Sam Eagle, President, Vice President, Treasurer, and High Pagan for STE INC. "Mr. McCain will be traveling through a rough area, but we have plenty of airpower in place to protect him."
STE INC won the contract over another ‘bodyguard’ firm when it was determined that the ‘other’ bodyguard practiced multiple billing (much like his personalities). Apparently, he/they fraudulently posed as a volunteer fireman (that actually didn’t come from me but from some guys that really are fireman and hate his guts because he’s such a pompous ass…standing around the station in his uniform showing himself off….I’m not kidding, ask them), an FBI agent (that one didn’t come from me either---KP), a fast food manager (that one’s mine), and a political consultant and billed for all four personalities.
An anonymous source who will remain anonymous because he really doesn’t exist from the McCain campaign said they understood the guy billing for two because it looked like he had been eating for two for quite some time, but, "we weren’t going to pay for four of him!"
Some thoughts for the Day
Sam the Eagle